B – is for BELIEVE.
But, believe in whom or what, you ask? When you instruct your horse to follow a command and he doesn't respond, why do you suppose that is? And when your horse runs from you in the pasture instead of to you, what are you thinking at that moment? How often have you told yourself , “When I get that horse broken to ride, I will have control of her then.”? She comes home from the trainer and you still don't, not really. Do you receive advice from others encouraging you to “Show him who's boss!', or “Be the bigger horse!” or “Don't be afraid!”? You are not sure how or why, but in truth, you are afraid.....of failing.
A carpenter would never begin a job or stay in business for
very long if all he ever took to work was a hammer. So many
folks walk out to the barn with a hammer expecting to build
an ark. When you don't have the proper tools, you know it
and you can be certain, your horse knows it as well.
So, we are back to BELIEVE. Believe in what? You cannot expect your horse to believe in you as a leader if you do not believe it yourself first. I am not talking about you believing in yourself as a world class athlete or parent of the year. I mean believing you are capable of convincing your horse you are worthy of being trusted when everything in his nature tells him the opposite. We as human beings can walk into a dinner party and have everyone in the room convinced we haven't a care in the world. Often, we can fool even our closest relatives. But, be certain of one thing: You will NEVER fool a horse. Never. This prey animal has honed his observation skills to a level we cannot imagine. A horse will scrutinize your body language so acutely, you cannot lie. He makes determinations about your leadership ability in the first five seconds. If all you have in your toolbox is a hammer, what horse in his right mind would trust you to save him from the wolves he thinks are inevitably lurking about? So, your first priority is to fill your toolbox with believable implements that can convince your horse and more importantly, convince you that you are a leader that can be trusted.
Learn to train your horses or get a trainer. Whether you go to a clinic or send your horse to a trainer find a one that fits in with your goals and your style and learn how to train your horse. Every time you are in your horses's presence, you are 'training'. Give your horse a couple of weeks off and make a plan. Decide how much time you can invest and stick to it. Start out slow. A one hour three days a week, every week, is far better than all day on Saturday once a month. Be thorough and complete each task well or else, as with any shortcut, holes will show up later in your horse's training. Focus on the process, and the product will come naturally.
Keep a journal. Documenting progress is a critical part of any training program. Record what you worked on that day, any hitches, accomplishments and notes of interest. Make recommendations for the next session while things are still fresh in your mind. This will keep you motivated and focused, not to mention, prepared. Knowing what you are going to do next gives you confidence and credibility; the first step to being a good leader.
Practice your techniques, document your progress, and believe you can do it.
Then your horse will, too.